The white lacy park bench sat in the middle of what could have been the Garden of Eden. Surrounded by a rainbow of colors saturating every type of flower imaginable, the peace this dream exuded was unlike any peace I’d ever felt. I was 19 years old when I had this dream. Michael Jackson was only 12.
While I’ve always had an attraction to younger men, I’ve never been attracted to children, so when I awoke from this dream, I was curious about the dream’s meaning. As in many spiritual dreams, though, age never seems to be a factor.
As I sat on the bench, Michael knelt down beside me on the ground next to the bench, and he sang to me:
You and I must make a pact, we must bring salvation back.
Where there is love, I'll be there.
I'll reach out my hand to you, I'll have faith in all you do.
Just call my name and I'll be there.
[Chorus:]
And oh - I'll be there to comfort you,
Build my world of dreams around you, I'm so glad that I found you.
I'll be there with a love that's strong.
I'll be your strength, I'll keep holding on, holding on, holding on - yes I will, yes I will.
Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter.
Togetherness, well that's all I'm after.
Whenever you need me, I'll be there.
I'll be there to protect you, with an unselfish love I respect you.
Just call my name and I'll be there.
[Chorus]
If you should ever find someone new, I know he'd better be good to you
'Cause if he doesn't, I'll be there.
I'll be there, I'll be there, just call my name, I'll be there
(Just look over your shoulders, honey).
I’ll be there, I’ll be there, whenever you need me, I’ll be there.
Don't you know, baby, yeah yeah
I'll be there, I'll be there, just call my name, I'll be there.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, I’ll be there…
Although this dream occurred more than 40 years ago, to date, no “love of my life” has ever had faith in anything I’ve done, even through two marriages. My dream version of Michael Jackson may be my only reminder of the type of love that has been missing all my life. Though seven years separated Michael and me, in 1970, those seven years seemed more like twenty, not only because girls mature faster than boys, but also because I was on the verge of adulthood and though Michael was 12, he looked much younger.
When Michael died in 2009, he was two months short of his 51st birthday and I was one month short of my 58th birthday. The age difference didn’t seem quite so wide anymore.
I may never know what true love feels like in this lifetime, and I’m not suggesting that if Michael Jackson was alive today, he and I would have even met, but I’ll always have the memory of this dream and the hope it evoked – that maybe some day somebody out there (in addition to my children and grandchildren) will fill my heart with joy and laughter.
