I had this dream about a week ago and forgot to post it:
I am kneeling on a pier. Somebody tells me that baby seals need saving. A man and woman in a boat stop by where the baby seals are trapped in some kind of enclosure. I rip it open and one baby seal falls out and into the water. All the rest fall into the boat. Through snow covered water, we take the baby seals to their mother. I am still concerned about the one that fell into the water. I hope somebody saved that one.
Now I’m helping my daughter in her upscale consignment boutique and one item of clothing gets separated from the rest of the group. I ask employees to help me find the group where it belongs, but they aren’t paying attention. More and more items get separated and I am concerned that my daughter has hired a bunch of uncaring, incompetent employees.
Suddenly I find myself visiting a home that belonged to a former neighbor of my parents, but the home doesn’t look at all like my former childhood neighbor’s home. As I walk through the home, I see kids playing in a different part of the house – a very large room. Toys are all over the floor, lined up like soldiers on a battlefield or dominoes ready to fall. Because I am in a very playful mood, I begin playing with the toys, kicking them all over the place and laughing. The kids love it.
|Photo of Robert DeNiro by David Shankbone|
As I leave the house, I tell everyone sitting at the large kitchen table that I have to kiss them all good-bye. The table immediately fills with lots of men, including some celebrities, though the only one I can remember is Robert DeNiro. Again, I am in a very playful mood. One guy, a former boyfriend, tells me he has always been attracted to me, as he passionately kisses me good-bye. I practically dance out of the room, feeling like a little child.
Saving baby seals has never been on my radar. I care for them, but I don’t see myself rescuing them in any way. I’m neither equipped with the physical stamina to do so, nor am I financially capable to help them, so baby seals must represent something important to me. Maybe the fact that baby seals are vulnerable and I’ve always hated people in power who take advantage of others who are in vulnerable positions, I hope in some way to rescue those more vulnerable than I am. I’m not sure who the man and woman represent, though they could be the masculine and feminine parts of myself.
The employees in my daughter’s shop represent people who take advantage of nice people. Like hating people in power who take the trust of the vulnerable and abuse it to their own advantage, people who take advantage of nice people also irritate me. I suggest that those vulnerable people stand up for themselves, but they often don’t.
As far as the playfulness is concerned, I admit that one part of myself I have always loved was my ability to let go and play – to have fun! I lost that part of me during my second marriage and hoped to reclaim it one day. In moments when nobody is watching me, I play, but the memories of getting criticized for having fun my way never left my mind. When I sang to my kids, for instance, I’d get a look of disgust that seared into my soul. I allowed somebody else to dictate my moods. Perhaps now, nearly thirty years after my divorce, I’m giving myself permission to play again.
Afterword: A few days ago, after I had this dream, a Chicago television news station reported that people shouldn’t swim near seals, because seals can be dangerous.