Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Left Out


When I answered my phone, the doctor on the other end leaked out information that was not intended for me to hear. Too late, because I knew it had something to do with one of my family members, and I insisted that he tell me what he was talking about. Somebody from my family was in the hospital, but he wouldn't tell me why.

Arriving at the hospital with at least one of my grandchildren, I found my mother, father, and my youngest sister sitting in a line of chairs. When I asked them why we were here, nobody responded with an answer I wanted to hear. 

Their replies were variations of, "We can't tell you right now," "You'll find out later," and so on. I was infuriated. Everybody else knew but me.

When the procedure or surgery was over, my younger sister came out of the hospital room looking spectacularly beautiful but even she wouldn't tell me why she was there. 

My angered response was to tell everybody not to count on me for any further revelations (in waking life I had told them all that I had cancer a couple of years ago). If I were dying, I would not tell any one of them. 

My mother and I were arguing about the situation, but she wouldn't give in and tell me what had just occurred. So, in childlike fashion, I grabbed a place on the couch (we were now in a room somewhere), folded my arms across my chest, and lifted my head in defiance.

I think the reason I had this dream was because a situation occurred recently where somebody felt the need to pull somebody else aside and tell him to go to a different room so I wouldn't hear the conversation. I find secret telling exceedingly rude. Why not wait until you are alone with the person to reveal your secret instead of making it overtly obvious that you are trying to share information that "somebody" else is not allowed to hear? Or tell the person you are hiding from that you need to speak to the other person alone.

Sharing secrets in public is childish and rude. I've seen one person lean into another person and point her head in a certain direction. The other person looks into the direction of which the secret teller just pointed and both laugh.

Earlier in my life when I was 11 years old, I saw a "friend" of mine point me out to another friend of hers as I was walking close by them. The experience of knowing that whatever laughter they were sharing was at my expense caused me to confront the "friend," who told me that yes, they were laughing at me, more specifically at my hair. At 11 years of age, I lost whatever self confidence I might have had and folded into myself.

One event that occurred decades ago, even when it arises under different circumstances today, still affects me the same way apparently.

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Friday, February 24, 2012

Serial Killer in My Home


In this dream I am living with my parents but the home doesn't look like the home where I grew up. My mother and I are aware that my father has invited a serial killer to live with us. Though having a serial killer living among us obviously bothers us all immensely, for the most part, we choose to ignore him.

Until the day the serial killer brings home another woman and, after we figure out his modus operandi, decide we will no longer partake of his barbecues anymore when he invites us for dinner. I know, even as I write that, how ridiculous it sounds, but it truly was in my dream. 

I insist that my father get rid of the guy, using this logic: "What if he decides to kill me or my sisters or my children?"

My father shrugs. Memories of my past flood my brain. I become frustrated and furious, crying and screaming at him. I hate when anybody shrugs me off. My mother and either one of my sisters or one of my daughters (can't remember which), notes my emotional outburst, feels sorry for me, but neither speaks up for me nor addresses the situation. I am further agitated by their silence.

It never occurs to me to report the serial killer to the police myself, nor does it occur to me to confront the man. He's like a cancer that lives among us who everyone chooses to ignore. I am so angry in this dream, I could just punch somebody.

When I reflect on this dream it occurs to me that I often get frustrated when nobody listens to me or when people ignore me. Apparently even something as outrageous as trying to get everybody to realize the importance of a serial killer living in our home isn't enough to grab anyone's attention. The only thing that really grabbed the immediate attention of everybody I know is when I told everybody I had cancer. All eyes settled upon me. I'd never before experienced such rapt attention.

Being ignored reminds me of the time I tried to tell my father about a man who confronted me in the parking lot of Sears when I was working there at the age of 17. I was terrified about going back to the parking lot after work. My father, probably in trying to get me to hang up, insisted that everything was OK. I could not get across to him how terrified I was about having to return to that parking lot. (I recorded that episode in the article, Ted Bundy and Me.)

One reason I think I had this dream is that the yesterday, a friend of mine asked me for the photo that accompanies this article. The only copy I could find was the one I attached to that article. It apparently aroused some significant memories.

Also, knowing how dreams relate to present circumstances, I wonder if my anxiety over not being heard or being ignored has anything to do with the fact that I entered three screenplays (one of which is actually a teleplay) in a competition, and realized, after I sent them in, that I had made some minor errors. I'm hoping the judges don't disregard my entries because of those errors and that those contest judges actually read my screenplays and find them worth turning into television programs or movies. 

Being ignored has always been more than just mildly irritating to me – it has been exasperating. I've often lamented, "Oh, if only somebody would pay attention to what I'm saying (or writing)," especially when I recall with dubious concern the day I revealed my cancer to my family. Rarely do I get that undivided attention. When I speak of my blogs or screenplays I can almost see their eyes glaze over. Does it really take something as dramatic as cancer or a serial killer to get people to listen to me?

It doesn't surprise me that I would choose something as shocking as a serial killer living in my home to prove that even with something so potentially fatal, and although I tend to exaggerate even in my dreams, getting anybody to listen to me is always such a challenge. So I'm putting out to the Universe: My screenplays are winners! Everybody will want to watch the results of those screenplays or teleplays on TV or at the movies or on Netflix or from Redbox, or online ... ;)

Afterword: Just before I posted this, I found the following daily horoscope (surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly, appropriate):

Friday, Feb 24th, 2012 -- You were recently swimming in the waters of your own emotions, but now it seems as if you're being pulled onto dry land. Instead of just experiencing your feelings, it's time to act on them. Unfortunately, your actions could be constrained by memories of a past rejection that arises when you swing into motion. Take time to honor your past before pushing through the resistance. No matter what happens, you will feel positive about taking a chance and revealing what you want. 
And there you have it – I have just revealed the entry of three scripts into a scriptwriting contest (one of which was co-written with a writer friend of mine – to be revealed at a later date).



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Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Strange Coincidence in Two Strangers' Dreams


A few months ago I started having recurring dreams, which were extremely frightening and realistic. It was never the same dream, but it seemed to pick up where the other had left off or a short time after the last dream, so I consider them to be recurring. The very first dream, I remember there were several lines, in a domed structure (much as described in an article I read on your site) I was in one such line along with my sisters cousins and other relatives; mostly girls and young children (it is worth noting that in real life I don’t have any sisters). I had the odd sensation I was in a ‘bad’ line, although everyone (guards wearing uniforms, I cant remember exactly what they looked like) told us that we would be fine, because we were children. However, once I got to the head of the line, the guard looked me over and decided to put me in a different line. Because I had been told I was in a ‘safe’ line I was extremely scared; and also, my cousins and sisters (who I needed to protect, something had happened to the adults) where still in the other line, but after he yelled at me and told me to get in line, I did. I remember throughout all the following dreams having extreme guilt that I listened to the guard.
It turns out that the line my sisters and cousins were in was in fact a line headed for the gas chambers. I vividly can recall having to pile the bodies of my relatives together for mass burial/burning. This was the first dream, and the rest surrounded my trying to assist in the escape of those new to the ‘camp’ (it was referred to in my dream as something else, but I’m pretty sure it was either not an actual word, or not English, and I can’t quite recall it). And those who were to die soon. Because I was suspected in helping them, I was transported from camp to camp, I recall there being 7 in total that I either visited or heard about. Eventually, my luck ran out, and I too visited the gas chambers. This was over the period of a month, with as many as 3 dreams a week.
I had obviously heard of the Holocoust, so I assumed my dreams were about that, but nothing I was studying in school while or right before the dreams suggested it, so I don’t know what started the dreams. This was around 4 months ago, and I am now studying the Holocaust for western civ. The pictures of the camps and death-heaps are disturbing, as they are to most of my friends when they study. However, more so is the remembering from my dream; long before I studied the holocaust in any depth. Remembering the smells, and most of all the fear of the camps, pretty much for myself… it is extremely disconcerting. I saw an article similar to my dream, and thought I would email mine. Weird dream for sure.
The previous dream was written exactly as the dreamer wrote it. In her post, she referred to a previous Your Weird Dreams post entitled, Past Life in Holocaust? In that post I relate a dream I had about being in a dome-shaped structure. In that dream my father and I were standing in two different lines. I am amazed by the similarity of these two dreams, dreamed by complete strangers, both of whom thought their dreams related to the Holocaust.
After reading this dreamer's post, however, I wonder if some of us harbor memories from past lives and that located in areas of our brains that we don't access or use are vaults of information that are hidden from us during our lifetimes. Perhaps we tap into those vaults during our dreams and try to make sense of the lives we live today in relation to the lives we may have lived.
The Holocaust, led by Hitler and his Nazi followers, annihilated millions of people. Who's to say that some of those people didn't reincarnate with memories of that atrocity, and that they can reach those horrors only through their dreams (or nightmares).


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Saturday, December 31, 2011

Visit from Departed Loved Ones

This dream will make more sense if I relate to you the correlations between the dream and my waking life.

My former mother-in-law, Lorraine, has been residing in an assisted living facility for quite a while and this past year, her son (my ex) moved her closer to where he and one of my daughters live. 

Nearly every week I travel 85 miles to watch my son's kids (they live about ten miles from her new home), and I try to visit my former mother-in-law every time I care for my grandchildren.

Lorraine had a very good friend, Dolores, when she was living in the home she owned for several decades before she lost her ability to care for herself. Dolores died several years ago. In my dream, I am visiting Lorraine and a priest is in her room talking to somebody I don't recognize. Lorraine is in another room in the home. I leave her room and run into Dolores. Surprised to see her, I tell Dolores that Lorraine will be so happy to see her.

I later leave the facility with my grandchildren. Taylor is sitting in the front seat with me. Kaden and Zac are both sitting in the back seat. The car is not responding to my movements though, and even though I appear to be having difficulty maneuvering the car through traffic and at one point actually fall under the steering wheel, Taylor doesn't appear to be at all affected by the problems.

Later in the dream we end up in a restaurant. The moment we walk in I see my friend, Scott, standing at the counter holding a tray in his hands. Happy to see him, I wrap my arm around him and tell him I am happy to see him, but also sorry that I hadn't read his Christmas letter yet, because so many things have been going on in my life and I haven't gotten around to reading it yet.

(In my waking life, until this morning, the letter sat unread on my counter.)

I settle the kids at a table and walk back to the counter, passing Scott's table where he is deeply engaged in conversation with his dad. I say something to him, but it was apparent he doesn't want to be interrupted. Not wanting to disturb his conversation, I continue on.

(In reality, Scott's dad died this past September.)

I can't help but wonder, that while I was dreaming of Lorraine and Dolores, and of Scott and his father, they too were dreaming of their departed loved ones who, in spirit form, were visiting them in their dreams.

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Thursday, December 22, 2011

Cuddling In Bed With Zak Bagans



First of all, I would like to say that though I find this particular ghost hunter kind of sexy, I did NOT invite this dream. So I wonder subconsciously why he even came into my dream. I don't even get Ghost Adventures anymore, because I had to switch to basic cable.

But I admit it. I had a dream about him. Oh well. Maybe I'm young at heart.

Zak would probably be upset to know this little old lady had THAT kind of dream about him. But seriously (really!) we were only cuddling. And I'm NOT going to apologize. This guy has a beautiful body. He works out!



Oh, I can already hear my kids going, "Ewwww..."

But I can hear my grandkids laughing ;)

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

7 Different Dream Types and What They Mean


Guest post by Brooke Stafford

As this blog has discussed in detail, there are loads of different kinds of dreams out there. Everything from being chased by monsters to flying away can all leave the dreamer with a sense of confusion as to what they have just dreamed.  To help, we have gathered seven different kinds of dreams and what they can mean below.

1.     The nightmare – We all have them, and we all have them differently.  Common types of nightmares include being chased, falling, showing up to school/work naked, etc.  These types of dreams often signify that you have a problem about which you are not happy.  If you regularly experience these kinds of dreams, you probably know what’s causing them and you should try a different approach to solving them.

2.     The disaster dream – Not all nightmares happen as in the above.  Some of them revolve around a disaster such as a fire, hurricane, earthquake, or other natural disaster.  These dreams often tell that the dreamer is very happy with something but afraid of losing it.  Maybe homeowner’s insurance isn’t such a bad thing after all if getting it or increasing it helps you sleep better.

3.     The mission dream – Ever dream you are a secret agent on an impossible mission?  This can often be a sign that your unconscious mind is trying to tell you something and only by completing the mission can you know what that is.  It doesn’t have to be a secret agent; any dream where you are trying to find someone, get somewhere, etc. can be this type of dream.

4.     The visit dream – Have you ever dreamed of someone who has left this world?  It is not uncommon for our unconscious to seek out in the dream world what we miss so much in the real world.  Be particularly aware of any messages the deceased gives you as it often means what you think they should have told you before they died.

5.     The wish come true dream – Always dreamed of owning an exotic car, and all of the sudden you’re driving one dream-style?  These can be some of the best dreams ever, whether it’s becoming a rock star, published author, lottery winner, whatever your heart desires.  They’re also good for helping you find your true purpose.

6.     The flying dream – These dreams can take on any different number of meanings.  Some experts tell us that flying dreams signify a desire to return to childhood while others associate it with sex.  If you have a dream like this, remembering if you are flying away or to something and what the something is helps determine what the dream really means.

7.     The sex dream – This is one dream where the cigar isn’t a cigar.  If whatever your hormones desire are what is being dreamt about, you don’t need an expert interpreter to figure out what’s going on.  Chances are, if you enjoyed whatever’s going on the dream, you will enjoy it in real life, so see if your partner is up to it.

Brooke Stafford is a nursing practitioner student and also writes for Family Nurse Practitioner Degrees. The site helps students find the right nurse practitioner degree to fit their needs.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Man Dreams About Being a Woman

The following is a dream I received in an email from a man last week. His dream is written "as is" with paragraphs added to separate some of his longer paragraphs. My comments about the dream appear in italics.

This is a report of a dream I had on Monday 12/12/11 before 21:30 in the evening. I had an early night because I was incredibly tired during the day and I guess the content of the dream woke me up. Essentially, what happened was that I was a young, perhaps 35 or 30 year old woman who was a police officer, and I remember this being a very late part of the dream (there were earlier parts before it) although I can’t easily remember or visualise the earlier parts, although I believe they had something to do with investigating various crimes, but I can’t remember them. Some people might say that some of the areas of our brains that are inaccessible to us are memories from past lives, and some of those people say that though we may be of one sex in this life, we may have been members of the other sex in previous lives. Another explanation might be that you were accessing the feminine parts of yourself in this dream (we all have masculine and feminine energies).

Now in this part, for some reason, I was in the basement of a hotel, which was actually a computer service room and I was asleep on a chair and in front of me was some kind of server, which was sat on my lap, and inside the server were various (what  I assume to be) electronic components, although in the dream they were represented by – this is really strange – this is old, really really old IBM typewriter that used this cylindrical ball with these letters on and it rotated the ball into place and stamped it to make an impression on the page – anyway, it was a load of those. Basements often represent your base instincts and urges. Balls could represent sexual experiences, especially in this situation when they are sitting on your lap.

Anyway, this guy in a white coat comes over and at first it looks as though he is conducting some kind of maintenance on these electrical components. He starts screwing one of these typewriter heads really really tightly into position and for some reason it looks as though it’s some kind of sexual fetish he’s getting pleasure from and once he’s finished screwing this typewriter head really really tightly into place in the set of circuit boards, he drops the tool he was using (a pair of pliers or something like that) and then slumps forward onto the circuit board or whatever it was on my lap and falls asleep. Screwing has many connotation. And white coat could refer to a doctor. Maybe you feel as if you are getting badly screwed by someone or some organization and you feel that they are deriving pleasure from your pain. Or possibly you feel that your life has gotten to the point where men in white coats will be coming for you.

So I’m horrified by this and grab this tool as evidence and then run out of this computer server lab, which is still in the basement of the hotel, walk through a really long corridor, which reminds me of the French catacombs – not because there’re are skulls on the walls but because it’s brick corridors, semicircular brick corridors and very dimly lit. I run along them and reach a door that takes me outside and it’s nighttime at the time and see a security guard there and scream really really loudly to him asking him whether anyone from Plusnet, which happens to be our internet service provider at home, whether technical support is available, to which he answers no. Darkness indicates that you lack insight into your current situation. Even after you left the "catacombs," you are still in darkness.

I then stumble out into a square outside, which is very very lively. It’s nighttime at the time, people are partying very loudly, there’s a bar to my left. The first person who comes up to me is a representative of the hotel – I’m obviously a guest there. I’m still this 35 year old woman by the way, and I’m trying to maintain my composure although I’m frantic and horrified by what I’ve just seen by this computer service technician, and this hotel representative brings this American guest over, who’s really concerned because somebody has used her sugar cube and the hotel is embarrassed because they’re not sure what’s happened to the sugar cube so, knowing I’d play along, they say that I’m the one who took the sugar cube and I saw ‘yep, yep that was me, I took the sugar cube, I will give it back to you, etc.’ I would pay attention to what sugar cubes mean to you – does somebody you know use them frequently? At one time (and possibly still) people used sugar cubes to introduce hallucinogenics. I wonder why you were so willing to accept blame for taking the sugar cube. 

And this is where things start to get really really horrifying. For instance, I look at the American woman, who for some reason is quite large, and I reach out and poke her stomach and, as I do so, she turns into plasticine – well not even plasticine – like more like rotting flesh – putrefied flesh and my hand sinks right into it and as my hand does so, the putrefaction transfers into my arm, which then immediately becomes bloated and I basically freak out. It’s obvious from everyone around that I’m just delusional and that when I look down at my arm it’s like it and when I look up, everyone’s face is just absolutely horrified and when I look down again it’s absolutely normal and so is the American woman and people were freaking out because I’m freaking out. It appears here that you are losing your ability to perceive things correctly, almost like you had swallowed a sugar cube laced with acid.

I then see various other examples of this and one of the last ones  - I can’t really remember them – but one of the last ones was reaching down into the glove because I thought it was filled with Cheerios and then it turned out to be filled with maggots and insects that are writing around my hand, and I throw the glove onto the floor, and it turns out that it was just, for some reason, a glove filled with Cheerios and then everyone else is absolutely horrified by the fact that I’m having this mental delusion.

Then I see one look and see that there’s a sofa in the corner and I decide that I need to lie down, so I lie down and then I see me – well I am me – rather than this woman again and I see her and I’m looking down over her (who I was a moment before) and then I woke up. Your perceptions in this dream appear to be distorted. I would look at your awake life and ask what you are perhaps distorting or perceiving incorrectly.

It’s now 21:47 and I’m going to try to get back to sleep. (That must have been a relief.)

###

In the preceding dream, a lot of "things" appear that the dreamer may want to understand. Using Gayle Delaney's process of understanding dreams, I would suggest he separate the things from this story and ask him to explain what each thing means to him. I would also ask him if he has an emotional connection to any of them.

Interpreting dreams is a process. When we record our dreams, after several days or weeks, we may notice a connection between our dreams and those connections will help us understand the common threads that run through our dreams. By understanding our dreams, we understand ourselves.

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